I Take Joy

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble

Nicolaes Maes Dutch Painter Woman seeking God, as we have all sought Him throughout the ages.

Late Wednesday evening found us drinking hot chocolate, talking lively as somehow, stories and history of our past started bubbling out of each of our children. These stories focussed on a number of times when our family has been injured by other Christians or greatly criticized unjustly by others. It is painful at times to see the results of hurts through the eyes of my children when I know that they have been deeply wounded in our own journey towards the Lord.

From the beginning of scripture, we see that evil and tests are around every corner. Cain killed Abel out of jealousy. There are Ahabs; Jezebels; wicked and selfish kings, including Saul who was after David to kill him; giants in the land, Hamans who want to kill all the jews; Judas's and Job's friends who misunderstand; Pharisees--God's leaders--who become the murders of the righteous.

I did not know or understand this when I first started out in ministry. I was shocked by how very cruel people could be--poisonous in some cases. There have been trials in our lives that I will probably never write about, because I believe loyal love is an important standard in my life and there are those I am not willing to expose. Yet, the battles our family has been through are numerous and quite difficult.

And, in a few cases, the wounds are still fresh enough on our children's hearts, that I can still see they have been deeply hurt. "No wonder I have been tempted to wonder if God loves us or to doubt in people's ability to be faithful. If you look at our lives, it is amazing that we have even kept beileving God, with all that He has put us through!"

Yet, these have been the stories of our lives. It is in the midst of trial that our children really see what is is like to trust God. They will have battles if they intend to live godly lives. They learn how to live godly lives by hearing our words as well are watching our faith.

There are so many other ways to experience deep pain and sadness.  There are wars, illnesses, lack of money, wickedness seemingly going unhindered, no community, loneliness, heartache.

Yet, above and beyond all, there is God.

I love Psalm 22, the prophetic psalm that was on Jesus's lips when he died.

"My God, my god, why have you forsaken me?"--this to the jews was the title of the Psalm as they knew the first lines to define what psalms were being addressed. And so Jesus had this as a comfort in his heart as he heard it all the years, because the first line did define for him the temptation he had at the cross.  Verse 2 says, "I cry by day, but you do not answer, And by night, but I have not rest,

but then the next verse says it all, "Yet, thou art holy, Oh thou who art enthroned on the praises of Israel, in thee our fathers trusted. They trusted and you delivered them. To you they cried out, and were delivered; In you they trusted and were not disappointed."

This is our hope--we call out to God. We call out to Him who is our Father and longs for us to come to Him. He is faithful. He is holy. He is deeply involved in our lives.

There are those battles that go on in our heart, when no one else can see--Is God really good? Does He really care? Can I really trust Him? Is He ever going to answer our prayer? Can He forgive me, again?

And then we are tempted to take things into our own hands--whatever that might be. Why do I know this? Because I have lived in this place many times.

Even now, our family is in a crisis. Yet, always we have a choice. Will we trust God. Will we celebrate His reality? Will we believe in the darkness even when we cannot see any way out?

Fatih is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. We believe, not in what is around us or what we can see. We believe in what we cannot see--God, His promises, His faithfulness, His ways which are different and above our ways--this is what His Word tells us. Will we listen to Satan's voice, the accusations that God does not see us? that God does not care? That God cannot help us this time?

Faith--This is the only way to please God. To trust Him. Without faith, it is impossible to please Him, we read in Hebrews. Faith is brightest when we live in the darkest hours--the most impossible time to believe.

It is why I began this blog, I take joy! Through all the difficulties of our lives, I did not want to be overcome by the darkness, I did not want to be a victim. I made a decision: I will take joy, I will choose light, I will live in forgiveness.

I choose to believe in His goodness and not look at the dark. I choose to celebrate life because I am redeemed and Paul tells me in Romans 8 that nothing can separate me from God's love. I choose to be gracious because God has been gracious to me.

God allows us these trials that we may live boldy before others to show that we are not those who shrink back, but those who believe.

But God also cares deeply for us--He was a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. He understands your wounds. He cares deeply that you are feeling pressure, hurt, sadness or harm. He deeply loves you. But we must open the eyes of our heart and look for that love and wait for His strength and answers.

It is why I wrote Dancing with my Father. God, my father, is in charge. He knows what He is doing. He knows what He is building into our lives when we do not understand what is going on. I will hold His hand, I will praise His name, I will wait for His timing, because He will be faithful.

Though we are all tempted to trust in man or money or despair in our lives, may God be our hope today. May we bring Him deep pleasure as He sees us praising Him, loving Him, hoping in Him, so that when He has brought forth justice in our lives and answered our longings and prayers, we will have had the privilege of living a story which will indeed show His reality and His faithfulness to be true.

Hold on and worship all you precious ones who are living in the midst of great difficulties. He cares for you. He is with you. He loves you. May you and may I and my family always rest in Him.

We will be like Jesus in the prophetic psalm 22: 22 and following:

I will tell of Thy name to my brethren, In the midst of the assembly, I will praise Him, and stand in awe of Him, ..., For He has not despised nor abhored the affliction of the afflicted. Neither has he hidden His face from him; When when he cried to Him for help, he heard.

I am praying for so many of you today who are hurting. May you know His love, generosity, grace and peace and may you feel His abiding love. Grace and peace.

Amazing Music: The source of health and academic excellence!

Jean-Marc Nattier French painter

Every night at my dinner table when I grew up, my mom would light candles on the dining room table and put on some kind of music. My father used to play a "horn" as he would call it, and was of the Glen Miller sort of musician. He wiggled and danced and always whistled through life. A businessman in the day, but played at life and always loved having music around.

This is one habit I picked up and found myself providing in my own home: music every night--even if we had cereal or toast and cheese, we just made music and candles and talking an anchor in our day. Without realing it, this music had profound influence on my children's tastes and appetites on their lives. I then began to see that music helped in so many areas.

Giving my children Michael Card's lullabys at night (sleep sound in Jesus) when they went to bed, Steve Green's music to verses for children as they readied for bed; or Avalon or Rich Mullins or Josh Groban when we washed dishes or cleaned house, seemed to smooth the way.

Riding in cars on long trips to conferences found all of us constantly listening to and sharing music of every sort--from classical to celtic to Christian worship music to indy artists. We all got through so much of life with music as our companion. With Clay as a guitarist and both of us singers, we had melodies surrounding our home morning, noon and night.

Scripture tells us to, "make melody in our hearts to God," and he commanded the Levites to have those who played music every hour of the day. Angels sang at the birth of Jesus, David had an orchestra playing with choir singing when bringing in the arc of the Lord. Music honors God, and somehow is a mysterious part of life and beauty for us in His design and creation. Even the stars sang, Job tells us, at creation--melody must have been in God's heart from the beginning.

How fun it was to me to read these articles and see just how important music is to our brains and to helping cultivate happiness, well-being and even undergirds intelligence development. Enjoy these articles.

Amazing Power of Music Revealed

Classical Music: An effective antidepressant

 

 

 

Family Heritage that Inspires Leadership

                      Family Day, 2010

Sarah, 26--author,  Nathan, actor in Hollywood 21; Joy, 15, singer-songwriter; Joel, 24,        composer, Boston.

"I will make you to become fishers of men." Jesus to his disciples

Having lived long enough to observe many Christian families--with every kind of educational choice, I have pondered, "Why is it that some children stay faithful to God and some children give in to moral pressure?"

I have pondered this question a lot, because I know so many wonderful parents, who have raised their Christian children with a great education, good training and Biblical ideals. It is not an easy world for our children to enter into and I know that there are no formulas.So, I do not pretend to have all the answers.

I get lots of questions about what did we do to reach their hearts? Mostly what we have written in our books. But I do try to acess those principles of family, that I think could have contributed to our children growing up to love and serve the Lord. I have no guarantees that they will stay on this path, but I do feel that there are some wise ways that have helped to give them foundations that have served them in the wide arenas where the Lord has taken them.

I think that often times parents inadvertently have as their goals to train their children to become moral, (not get pregnant or get on drugs),  to know all the Biblical stories, or to understand how to make good decisions. And yet still miss the heart of our children--that they want to be loved and they want to know their life has meaning and purpose to God. Post moderns do not accept hypocrisy or rituals just because we have done them for many years.

Education presents another issue. We so much want our children to excell that we can also get distracted on these issues. It is easy for homeschooling parents to be so focussed on what curruculum to buy or for all parents to focus on SAT scores or lessons, opportunities, training, that they can leave out the real purpose of parenting--to build our children into godly leaders to who will be faithful to the gospel messages in thier life time. This is the only goal worthy of reaching their heart's cry for purpose and meaning in such in immoral and lost world.

What they must know-God has created us to be stewards of His kingdom messages

However, I think that in order to make it in this world, we must understand that our children need something more vital. We must captivate our children's heart with a vision that gives them a foundational calling on their lives--to give them something bigger than themselves to live for.

It is what Jesus did with his disciples. He didn't say, "Follow me and I will make you law-keepers."

Many unwittingly do this with their children and I see when we focus on keeping all the rules, we are in danger of building "Future Pharisees of the World." But Jesus purposefully pointed his words to their deisre to become leaders--to be those who would influence others.

From the time our children were born, we taught them that they were born with their unique personality, drives and dreams to bring God glory in and through their lives. We have said, "I wonder how God will use you in the world to show people His light?"

When practicing piano, "Maybe God will use you to bring great music to soothe and comfort people."

Or, look at Daniel. Even though he lived in a foreign country that believed in idols, he was so godly and used his position with such wisdom and influence, that 60,000 non-jews wanted to return to Jerusalem to worship the God of Daniel. I wonder if God will use you as a Daniel in your life-time.

What they must be--servants

But then, our children need also to see us using our lives to bring truth and redemption into the world. They need to see that we invest our money in missions, for the homeless, in our church, to help the poor. They need to see us teaching Bible studies or sharing Christ, or serving children, using our home as a center for life and ministry.

What they must do--serve and reach out alongside us while they are growing up

If we want our children to have as their self-image, someone who has a call on their lives, then we must give them an opportunity to practice while they are with us. Our children have served at Homeless shelters, hosted so many different types of outreaches in our home (Bible studies, Christmas parties to reach our neighbors, kids parties, giving up their bedrooms for guests, serving meals, make dinners for sick or lonely people, serving at our conferences, praying alongside us and then serving and giving up their time and money alongside us.)

Another tradition we implemented in our lives was Family Day.

Why do you always have your children fly home in August--it isn't Christmas or Easter? This question we often hear from our friends when they find out we save the end of August to be a family.

Clay and I got married on August 30, so we dedicated a weekend day every year around this date to celebrate "What it means to be a Clarkson!"

We have a feast of a breakfast--homemade cinnamon rolls, cheese, bacon, scrambled eggs; and drink of choice. Then we spend the next couple of hours reading through the passage in Joshua 4:1-24, remembering how God wanted the Israelites to document and remember what He had done in their lives to show His strength and reality.

Following the reading, we all participate in a time of telling and writing down the ways we have seen God work in our lives through the year--prayers He answered; provisions He made when we needed Him, blessings He gave, ways that He led. And every year we are amazed, when we take the time, to see how God has worked. This year, there seemed to be a constant thought of God being with us all in our specific places--providing and leading in ministry, in Boston, in LA, in decisions--God with us through all that we needed.

We then pack a picnic of homemade fried chicken, Texas chocolate sheetcake, baked beans, chips, deviled eggs,  and head up to a national park where we hike, and take a zillion pictures and have fun. It has become a tradition over the years to stop on the way down the mountain at a Starbucks and get a favorite drink. This day usually ends in a game night or movie night.

Sunday afternoon, we have a family tea time and spend the next couple of hours sharing what our needs are, telling each other our prayer requests, and then spend time praying for each other.

It has given us a sense of history as a family about how God is working in our lives and telling His story of faithfulness through the details of our life.

Intentionally Reminding them of their roots and of their ideals

Then, when my out of town children are home, I always take them out for their own time. I encourage them and tell them how much I have seen them grow and how I see God moving in their lives. I tell them I pray for them every day. Often, if the Lord brings to my mind areas in which I feel they need encouragement to grow, I share that as well. Become less selfish, more of a peacemaker,  reach out, cultivate more discipline in reading the word every day, and so on. And then I have a time of praying blessing over them.

Yesterday, as I drove Nathan back to the airport to return to Hollywood, he said, "You know, these times at home with the family help to keep me anchored--just to be with "us", our ideals, meals, fun, times in the word and to remember who we are helps me so much. Thanks for flying me home--and just keep praying for me!"

 

 

 

It does take our time--cooking, cooking and more cooking. It does take our energy--no sleep, lots of noise, messes and so many discussions. It does take planning and giving up our normal schedule and putting things aside for a couple of weeks, while we are all together--just as I put my whole life aside when they were small. But, I think, even as Jesus gave up his 3 years to build and teach and refine and remind his disciples, it is the same intentional process that builds and nourishes souls who will understand God with them, God working through them and God as the provider for them.

Our anniversary celebrating 29 years of adventures!

This beautiful field of wildflowers is why I have been constantly crying and sneezing and scratching my eyes in the past 2 weeks!Hmmmmm---what is this about?

Twas the night before anniversary, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse,

Mama drugged with allergy meds, and I in my jams, had just settled down for a short summer's nap.

When down on the stairs, there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away down the stairs I flew like a flash, tore open the vent, and there in the hallway, the blaring sound clamored.

5:07 a.m. Allergy medicine cradled my body and mind in the deepest of sleep when suddenly an ambulance two toned sound startled me awake. Trying to grasp where I was and what was happening, I opened my eyes to see Clay jump out of bed, heading toward the place where the sound was coming from. Within seconds Sarah popped down the stairs with utter amazement and Joel was mounting up the basement stairs sleepily staring all around to see what was going on.

Seems we have an alarm system that we didn't even know we had and it was hidden in the heating vent below our stairs on our main floor. So stopping the sound required unscrewing the vent, and dismantling the wires that were connected to the alarm. How can you live in an home 5 years and never know you have it connected? After settling down from the noise, (which Nate and Joy slept right through!), Clay and I sat in our mom and dad chairs in the our den with cups of tea to soothe our frenzied minds. 

He looked over at me sheepishly and said, "Happy 29th anniversary." Guess this is a little like our whole lives--unexpected adventure and different interesting moments all along the way!

Anyone else out there having adventurous days?!

This impossible, difficult, relentless life--a call from God!

 

"He endured the cross, despising the shame, and has now sat down at the right hand of the throne of the God, His Father."

Early mornings on my front porch, light fog mysteriously dancing amongst the trees, shimmering aspens singing soothingly--a perfect atmosphere. Sweet moments stolen away from the rest of the sleeping household afforded a time for friendship to be celebrated, hearts to be shared and stories to cherish. My treasured friend, in the same season of life as me, commented on the impossibility of our earlier lives. Multiple moves, loneliness, fears, both of us with a child out of the box, mysterious and spending some childhood years expressing anger, both of us saddled with children who had medical and mental illness issues,  out of the box anxiety as a way of life for them,  and causing havoc in our homes. Both of us living on financial support that was sometimes enough and many times just a prayer away. Both of us knowing the deep feelings of anxiety wondering if we were ruining our children when we saw starkly in the daily-ness of life our own inadequacies. For me, rare support from my family who also wondered if I was ruining my children.

And then there were the messes, longing for time alone, fusses, educational pressure, peer pressure from those who expected more from my children than they would expect from children whose parents were not writers and speakers. And then just the coming to the end of myself--over and over again--and not knowing how I was going to make it, but somehow finding myself a year further along. 

Marriage between two fragile and extremely different, self-centered immature people came crashing in the tension amidst the most stressful moments. Yet, loyalty, a character quality  of Him, my teacher, who designed marriage,  taught us to hold on, to give grace, to love beyond our human capacity and to live in His power--by faith, by hope, by needing to believe that it all mattered.

Sweet memories and struggles, failures and victories shared, made our friendship grow in value. We had both traveled this impossible road, in different cities, sometimes different continents, cried, struggled, prayed and begged God for relief.

But, still we kept on, one step at a time in faith in the one who had placed these eternal, precious human beings in our hands, whose souls would have value through-out all eternity. These He entrusted to our hands, our hearts, our lives. And so, to honor Him, we pushed beyond the dark times and strained for the light--His light. Because we knew He had called us--He designed us to civilize, to impart wisdom, grace, righteousness and strength, even though we had to learn it as we went. But faithfulness pushed us along because we had pledged to Him our lives--all of our lives--and wanted to please and protect all that He entrusted into our hands.

And now we see the fruit. It did matter--this keeping going, straining to hold onto our ideals. Our children, yet growing, took into their very souls, our love, heart messages, sincere worship of Him, and are now living it out in their arenas against odds as they live their own impossible lives.

But the sharing of our failures and fears, the struggles, the inadequacies--these are what women long to hear--that they may know there is yet hope for them in the midst of their own impossible life.

It is out of learning to receive God's forgiving love amidst sin, grace and beauty in the mundane, seeing impossible prayer answered when hope was gone, living through all the thousands of mundane moments that I have a platform to minister--to reach out to others--out of compassion for what I have already struggled through--this is real ministry--not perfection but grace in my inadequacies, not performance, but believing in His ability to take my paltry offering and making it holy.

Often, even now, I wonder how I made it this far. Grace, all grace.

The danger of following any writer or speaker is that it is so very easy to imagine by the words they craft, that they are somehow anointed--they made it because they were more perfect or more mature--

In my case this is not true. I have sinned, yelled, struggled, feared, lived in darkness--yet, learning I was in a battle for souls, somehow I kept going one step at a time.

When I wrote Dancing with my Father, and studied the issue of Biblical joy, it somehow encouraged me to know that David, who penned, "In His presence is fullness of joy," is the same one who often despaired for his very soul. "Where are you, oh God? Why have you hidden your face from me."

Even Jesus himself was beset by sadness (a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief). He despised the shame he experienced when being spat upon, being manhandled, whipped, scorned--even while he was being perfectly obedient to God--he despised shame, cried for the death of a friend, was often (at least 3 times) trouble in His spirit.

So, though this life can seem to be difficult, relentless, and yes, impossible, we are in good company when we struggle. We have a high priest who prays for us. We have a sympathetic shepherd who experienced the same. Yet, this is our gift, that even as he stayed faithful amidst his battles for the sake of redeeming us, His children, so He will give us strength to stay strong, to serve and love, so that in pleasing Him, we may stay devoted to our own precious children. Grace to you precious ones through it all.

Still learning how to give up "my" time!

“Children, by definition, take up our time.  They’re supposed to do that; it’s the way God made them.”

“I was called to give up my rights simply out of my love for Jesus.”

“To have significant energy for the task, we must make the choice to embrace motherhood wholeheartedly.” Mission of Motherhood (Sally Clarkson)

Careening down the highway in my little blue, crv, stuffed to the gills with moving, warm bodies of my larger than life children (6 foot 5, 6 foot 3, 5 foot 10, 5 foot 6 and me), rocking to the rhythms and bass of the contemporary favorite tunes from ipods, I felt a deep happiness come over me.

Giggling, laughing at inside jokes, being too loud, sharing opinions and being happy to be in each other's company brought a whisper prayer of thankfulness to God, for all he has built into our family culture to make each of these each other's best friends. That my children want to be together and want to be with me is deeply satisfying, knowing that all of them have a bigger life than just our family.

Bribing all of my captives with a breakfast out to a 5 star hotel, a sweet memory from our past when they had done this, opened the door to making one more great memory. I hoped would continue to tie the threads of our souls together just a little bit more. It is thousands of such threads that make us "The Clarksons." Our own unique flavor of family--rock music when we washed the dishes, Sunday afternoon teas, always great books and stories, music at the dinner table, rousing discussions, heart-felt devotions.The meals we love, the way we do chores. It all comes back to life when we get the rare chance of being together. And each time we are all together, I know my work is to keep reminding them of the foundations, the values they have been given, the faith and convictions we all hold.

Some wonderful friends had chipped in to give Clay and me a gift card for a restful getaway at this hotel after an exhausting summer of ministry. It was absolutely amazing and wonderful. But we will take it later in the fall when the rooms are half-price. But this card gave me an opportunity to spoil my sweet ones. (My children still split meals and drink water so as to save money--it is just an expected way to go--we were always trying to save our pennies, so they still know that we celebrate life--but also have a way of doing fun things within our budget.) 

Joel and Joy savored a avocado, cheese, bacon omelet. Sarah and I split crabcakes with pouched egg and citrus Holandaise sauce, and my Hollywood acting Nathan chose fruit and granola, a much healthier choice!

Method to my madness opened the door so that I could then have the opportunity to once again hold up the standard of God's word, to speak into their hearts. I have intentionally always told them  how blessed I was to be their mother, how I believed that each of them was called to do a work in their life-time for God's kingdom. Sarah, God has gifted you with such a mind, an artist with words, you were reading and writing as a wee one, and I knew somehow you would be a communicator of truth and ideas to your world. My gentle Joel, you were singing perfectly on tune at 18 months and harmony by 3! Music seeped from you your whole life. To step out in faith to become one who would write beautiful music seems a fit for your life of bringing excellence and beauty to the world. Nate, when you were only 6 years old, you acted out your hero Audie Murphy in a speech given to 150 people and I knew then you were made for an audience. I can't wait to see how you bring His light to a dark arena. Joy, you have been a communicator since you started talking at three. Your gift with people, your love for the Lord and confidence in leading, will give you the ability to teach and inspire many people to love God in your life time.

And so words of truth and love, spoken in a sweet moment of celebrating life, will hopefully keep building on the foundation of their souls that has been lovingly given one day at a time, years upon end. I find I am still changing my schedule and giving up my expectations of life to keep serving and giving to those for whom I will have to give an account before Jesus when I see Him face to face.

Sweet Sarah Mae at likeawarmcupofcoffee has been doing a once a week review and discussion of my book, Mission of Motherhood. I love her heart and the way she connects with other women. She has a true gift of ministry.

But as I was reading a couple of the quotations she took out of this book, which I wrote years ago when my children were much younger, I realized, that I am still learning the same things. But the difference is that I see that the principles I wrote down that I determined would be a part of my life, have become second nature to me after practicing them for so many years. It is not that I don't still struggle at times to have "my own time." I long for time alone and time to do what I want to do all the time!

But since I settled many years ago, that this was right for me to do, that it was a part of my spiritual service to God to serve in my home, I don't have to think about it or struggle with it like I used to when my children were smaller.  It is already a commitment that is deeply held in my heart,  so  when I have to decide to do it, the truth is a part of my grid through which I had learned to see and live life. Practice makes a principle become a reality.

This is the quote that I thought so applied to me then and to me now!“I have already made a decision to make myself available in the routine tasks and myriad interruptions of daily life because I believe it is God’s will for me to serve my family through them.  Making this choice ahead of time means I will expect problems and needs to arise and be ready to deal with them in peace instead of impatience and resentment.” Mission of Motherhood

Thanks, Sarah Mae, for reminding me of this again today!

East Coast, Here we come! Philadelphia, Boston, and New York City!

PHILADELPHIA, BOSTON, AND NEW YORK CITY--HERE WE COME!

Seeing, handling, touching, acting out, experiencing, reading outloud---these are the live experiences that make history feel real. Since my children were very little, I have purposed to plan ways that they could really experience what we studied.

Missions was not just be a story that someone else lived, that we read about.  I wanted my children to experience being in a foreign country and eating foreign food and hearing a foreign language, while seeing the great needs of others.

Serving in a soup kitchen or babysitting at a single mom center for battered women makes needs more real, because children get to put a name to a face that they can pray for over months.Seeing how blessed we are as Americans is a nice thought, but when a child sees homeless children or feels what it is like to be hungry, they have a whole new understanding of poverty, or material wealth or whatever!

For this reason, since my oldest children were very small, I have intentionally planned and purposed to give them real life experiences so that they could really get a more realistic understanding of those we studied. It is why we have been such travelers. Reading about historical figures is inspiring, but seeing places they lived or built or battles where they were fought gives them a more realistic understanding of the issues of stress, physical limitations, issues in the lives of the people they have studied.

So travel has always been a central part of our lives. I could not do this in certain seasons of life, but I learned very early, that my little ones could be very happy in a car if I gave them things to play with, draw, munch on, or listen to and so we have traveled our whole lives. It started when my older kids were young. Clay worked for 3 weeks on our book catalogue every year and my friend's husband had 3 very busy weeks with his animal husbandry business, so we planned a trip together every spring. Finding museums, battlefields, cafes, art galleries, and more were our goal. Always we would have 2 or 3 books on tape to listen to about the places or people we were going to visit.

This year, our little history group below, are planning a history trip to Philadelphia, Boston and New York City. We have been studying American history--early years for the last 9 months, saving our money and planning our trip. We will be in these three cities during mid-October. I would be happy to speak one evening in each city. If you have a support group or mom's group that you would like for me to address, please send any requests to Sally@wholeheart.org and I will give them to my sweet two other mom friends and they will help me figure it all out.

As it has happened over the years, we have often stayed in homes of people, shared meals together and we have made many of our close friends just from meeting with people we found on my blog. It always makes Clay feel better to know we are not in a city without friends close by.

And just maybe we travel not so much out of philosophical reasons, but more because I love to travel and get away and am too adhd to sit still all the time. So I look forward to hearing from you.

Below is the trip we took last year. What great memories we have stored over the years. Our history group has shrunk over the years as our children have graduated and left home. We are down to 2 girls and two boys and 3 moms!

PS We are going to be on the train and will not have a way to go outside of the public transportation in each city---so I will speak to groups in the cities!

 

Deb Weakly, mom; Jack, 13; and Christie, 16; Shelley Rose, mom; Jackson, 13 and Joy, 15 and me.

“Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less, say more; love more, and all good things will be yours.”

Swedish proverb

 

Not many people have driven to Sweden, but our history group has extraordinary powers! Well, really, we just drove to mini Sweden, AKA  Linsborg, Kansas. Miss Sally, Deb and Shelley and their children hopped in a red mini van and began their seven hour adventure driving to Kansas. After much groaning, exciting wheat watching and about 50,000 cows and windmills to observe, we finally arrived at out destination. What followed was two days of good old fashioned Swedish fun. Bicycles built for five, Dala horses built for none, (but piled with four) and pickled herring. Yum! Swedish pancakes and hot chocolate, Swedish dancing, vikings on sticks (meant for eating) and one cold bleacher. If you have nothing to do two years from now for the Hylliningsfest, we strongly suggest you check it out. -Joy, 14; and Jackson, 12. (our next door neighbors for several years and friends for 10 years--the kids are like brother and sister or cousins.) 

If you would like to view more pictures, I will post a website for you to visit. 

Getting atop a Dala horse is harder than you think. Dala Horses were all over town. 

(There is a legend that says that it was a young boy on top of a Dala Horse that saved the people from the bad trolls and elves. So Dala horses are always Scandanavian--primarily Swedish.)

 

 

 

God's ways of dealing with Conflict

"As far as it is possible with you, be at peace with all men."  Romans 12:18

Recently, several unfortunate situations have arisen in our lives amongst fellow believers who are creating disharmony--both in a local church situation, a women's ministry group,  as well as another issue that has arisen on a national scale amongst leaders of an organization.

The reason for this blog article is that I truly believe that Satan loves for disharmony to flourish and to be nurtured amongst Christians. Whether in marriage, in parenting, in ministry or in organizations, we must fight against relationship conflicts and seek energetically to be those who are generous in love, compassionate in heart, gracious and peace-making as much as possible in all relationships in which we are involved. We are called by Christ to be menders of relationships and reflections of His own unmerited favor and love for us, when we were still sinners.

After being in ministry for almost 40 years, I have lived through many very difficult seasons of conflict: groups or churches dividing and  ministries being destroyed; people quitting jobs and ministry teams; hurt feelings, harsh words that have a lasting impact and go deep into the souls; and immature idealistic young Christians who think that the whole world needs to hear their thoughts on all sorts of issues. Gossiping, critical, judgmental groups of women have also created havoc in the pathways I have traveled. The possibilities of conflict are limitless.

Conflict, spiritual warfare and criticism is part of the challenge of being in Christian ministry. I have often told my children, that if one chooses to be a leader and stand up in front of people for ideals, righteousness and the kingdom, they will become an easy target--it comes with the territory. I did not know or understand this when I first committed myself to be involved in ministry as a way of life. I was often shocked at how Christians could so easily abuse each other. Heart-breaking circumstances have also caused me deep anguish and overwhelming sadness in my own life. And yet, God has been so very gracious to pull me through and beyond these incidences and taught me so much along the way. Not all people have been so fortunate as to have survived their battles against the harsh battles of being at the forefront of Christian ministry.

Naturally, most people involved in controversy,  have reasons dear to their hearts for being a part of the conflict. Many think it is for the sake of keeping "doctrine" pure or standing for principles that must be debated.

Now I am not suggesting in this article that we, as believers, should not have Biblical ideals. But I have come to look upon conflict and division in the body with seriousness and with caution, because I think most of it breaks the heart of Christ, especially when it concerns fellow Christians. And I have seen that much of the conflict has been over opinions and judgments that have in the long-run, proven to be unnecessary or false.

If the focus of my life is to please Christ, to love Him with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength, then I have to use that as a grid for all that I do. So when I come to a conflict amongst Christians, I must look at it, if at all possible, through the eyes of Christ. How does He see this? What does He value? What is His example? How would He want me to behave? What is my responsibility?

I would like to suggest just a few of the Biblical principles that have guided and guarded my own involvement in conflict.

Peacemakers

"While being reviled, he did not revile in return, but kept trusting Himself to God who judges righteously." I Peter 2:23

While being accused, Jesus, the only perfect and just person who ever lived, did not defend himself when he was being unjustly accused in his trial. His decision was to be quiet, still of heart, humble in his righteous position and to wait for God's justice to work. God is committed to justice, to holiness, to disciplining our lives so that we can share in his very character--God is always faithful in His timing to bring about His will.

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God." Matt. 5:9

"As far as it is possible with you, be at peace with all men."  Romans 12:18

Jesus said that those who make peace are like God--as peacemakers, they will appear as children of the Most High who is one who gave his whole life to bring us peace, restoration, redemption. He took the conflict upon himself. We are admonished to use our lives and our very words to bring peace.

Life-Giving words

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word that is good for the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

 ³¹Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

 ³²Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4: 29-32

Of course this passage is filled to the brim with godly advice. But overall, it indicates that God's will for us is to put away any selfish tendency in our hearts (wrath, bitterness, anger, clamor, or malice) far from us, because it grieves the Holy Spirit and prevents Him from living through us.

Instead, we are to choose to be kind, tender-hearted--not hard hearted, and forgiving us in the way Christ has forgiven us. Pretty clear admonition. This passage really tells us not to follow our pride, but to follow humility and gentleness. I think pride has been the biggest reason for most dissension.

Not judging others

"Do not judge, lest you be judged." Matthew 7

I quickly found 6 passages without even working at it that admonished us not to judge others--not to assess them or judge their motives, or their behavior--but not to judge at all. We can so easily as humans see things from our own lives and we "feel" we are right.

Yet, I have learned the hard way, by looking back on my life, that many times I was young, inexperienced, short-sighted, wrong in my judgments of others. To be quiet, peace making, patient, humble of heart is so much more the pattern that Jesus modeled. We are not God, we are not omniscient and cannot see or understand all knowledge--so we had better be very careful that we have a case before we speak against anyone--especially if we have any sin or weakness in our own lives like the very people we are criticizing. It is not wise to jump into an argument or disagreement that is not our own.

Avoiding Gossip

There are about 127 quotes in scripture that speak about gossip. God hates gossip--hates it. Gossip is spreading words or thoughts about a person to others which cause the hearer to think badly about the one being gossiped about.

So, unless I know that I am God's agent of truth about a situation, unless I am quite sure He wants me to speak against someone, I had better be very careful of my words, lest I separate myself from God. I must be cautious of   self-righteously speaking against someone I think might be wrong or who disagrees with me. This is a very serious offense to God.

God's Supernatural, loving Ways

God's heart is for us to be forgiving, loving, gracious and generous to provide His peace.

"Love covers a multitude of sin." I Peter

"They will know you are my disciples by your love for one another."

"It is to a man's honor to overlook a sin."

"Greater love has no one than this that a man lays down his life for another."

"Forgive 70 times 7."

There are obviously so many more scriptures about conflict-resolution. But overall, I think that it breaks the heart of God for us, who are believers, to create dissension amongst other believers or to create any negative suggestions which could in any way harm another believer. Many Christians and Christian movements have been made to look foolish in the eyes of the world for choosing to get caught up in division. 

Though I have so far to go myself in learning and applying these truths, I see that if I am to become more like Christ, I must take these and so many other admonitions to heart. May God grant you wisdom and grace as you consider His ways in relating in a Biblical way to others in your own journey with Him through all of your own conflicts. And may His Spirit shine His light and grace through us in this world greatly in need of His light, redemption and love.

"

The Power of Influence in a Life-giving Home

 

Whispering breezes amongst towering, swaying pines; pelting, drumming showers invading our car conversations, mists obscuring our views bespoke to all of us the need for an August fire in our cozy living room, steaming cups of tea, and soul-feeding sharing of hearts.  And so began a memory-making afternoon.

I will let my daughter, Sarah, tell the whole story as she is such a better writer than I am--but afterall, I was not homeschooled and she was! (I think it would be so wonderful if you could leave Sarah a comment to let her know it matters that she is writing! :) thanks!

The rest of this story is here

Even as God filled the earth with the art of a His best creation, so our homes must bespeak of His glorious creativity--colors abounding, lilting music setting the mood, feasts celebrated amongst every possible topic discussed, observed--from jokes to convictions, ideals to devotions, sadness to hilarity.

Real life should be lived--not virtual life observed.

We have had a house full of people for the last couple of weeks. The walls are fairly swaying with the life of friendships deepened, laughter ringing, voices raised in the spirit of competition of games played late into the night. (Golf,--a card game you can find on the internet-o- hearts, speed scrabble and scrabble, with even a little bit of tripoly type of card games being some of our favorites over the years.) 

Oh how I wish you could hear the deeply felt convictions and beliefs and conversations of our precious children as they share over books read, convictions challenged by others, beliefs cherished and preserved in their lives out in the world--to peek into souls that have been nourished on the best minds of great authors, the daily devotions and faith shared that lives deeply, authentically in their own hearts, the creativity and life of these adult children being lived out as they have  become lights in their own worlds. 

It is deeply fulfilling to know that all of those years of the labor of love and educating has born such satisfying fruit in their lives and souls. They were actually listening and paying attention all of those years, day in day out of the giving of our best to their hearts, minds and souls. So, my sweet friends, your work is not in vain--in God's hands it becomes a miracle.

This "life" is what my older children return home to experience--the cups of their souls longing to be refueled with the virtue, love, purity of moments shared together in the breath of God's love warming our hearts, filling us all with the sense of belonging to His destiny, kingdom, and caling, and  binding us together in the grand purpose of His calling on this family called the Clarksons.

Last night, at one time we had 3 guitars, a djembe thrumming and Clay leading the host. Real music pulsing through the open windows.

 

Old friendships remembered and rebuilt over banana pudding, chocolate chip oatmeal cookies, and brownies with Europeon chocolate chips sprinkled in--after a feast of spaghetti pie--an all time fav from an old Amish recipe. 

 

Joy sported a headache and didn't feel well, so her precious friend Andrea ministered comfort by soaking her hands in warm water and making her nails beautiful.

 

Meanwhile, the a serious game of cards ensued, as my sweet friend and I sat on the couch and pondered the gift of our precious ones who had grown up so quickly, and by God's grace so wonderfully full of His life.

How to raise excellent children

"A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher."

Luke 6: 40

Pondering, pondering and more pondering.

With candles lit, mugs of steaming tea in our hands, voices raised and opinions energetically batted about, we have been participating in Clarkson culture at its best. Convictions, ideas, ideals, stories at their best. All we need is for Nathan to come home and share from his perspective of living in Hollywood. Then our circle will be complete.

Profound satisfaction has filled my soul. Witnessing the beauty of souls alive, hearts on fire for Christ, ideals cherished in this dark world, and testimonies and stories of God's faithfulness being shaped in the lives of my seasoned children. 

"Give her the product of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates." Proverbs 31:31

I have been thinking about how deeply fulfilling it is to have walked with the Lord, worked hard, trusted Him and to see this palpable life in and through my children.

How did it happen? This life, goodness, strength of character in the midst of such an ordinary family, who cooked and washed dishes and complained about it, lived in the give and take of 6 sinful, but delightful people trying to find their way.

As I have prayed and thought about this, I have come up with several answers that I think lay a foundation of excellence. I hope to be writing about this in the next few days amidst a house full of company and having my children home for the next two weeks. Don't want to miss any time with them. But if they will all cooperate and stay in bed, sleeping late into the mornings, I will look forward to sharing with you.

But the first thing that the Lord has brought to mind is the soul, mind and heart of the mother.

So many women that I meet when I travel and speak all over the world want a formula. Just tell me the ten steps of raising good and godly children and I will follow them and pop out excellent children.

Or, "What curriculum is the best one to use to help me children be academically superior."

But, as I have pondered, I have realized that the starting point is you. Are you disciplining yourself to have quiet times every day? Are you building a resource of wisdom, truth, understanding of Jesus's life, his values, His heart so that you are becoming a well-spring of His very presence in the life of your home?

How are you using your time to invest in the best for yourself as well as your children? Are you reading books that are educating you, stretching your ability to think, challenging you with new ideas? Are you reading the best writers to your children and learning along beside them? What books are you reading in your sparse free time? What foundations of excellence are you building in your own life? Is prayer a regularly growing part of your spiritual life--are you depending on God and the Holy Spirit to bring excellence into your life? He is the source of life, strength and righteousness and love.

As you live your life, is the grid of your mind looking out into the minutes of your days focused on "How can I focus on the Lord in each point of my day? How can I encourage excellence of character by portraying it to my children and husband through every action, every display of character? How is my witness growing in the life and excellence of goodness, beauty and truth every day?

I have realized so much that there are very few women in my life, who when I am with them, bring energy, challenge and life to me when I am with them. Yet, I really think that as you are, like Jacob, wrestling with God, seeking Him, engaging in His word, seeking to develop your own character, that that becomes the souce from which others will draw.

Contemporary culture gives all of us permission to take a break, to become mediocre, to be passive. But, the Holy Spirit always pushes us forward to do more, work harder, become more excellent as He is committed to developing in us the very character and life of Christ Himself.

So, the key to raising excellent children is to grow in excellence yourself. You cannot give your children what you do not possess. Buying the best curriculum or the most expensive lessons cannot compensate for shortcomings in your own life, if you are not growing in excellence yourself.

"A Mother's heart is the child's classroom." Henry Ward Beecher

Your children will be like their teacher. We, as teachers and models, do not need to condemn ourselves for not being perfect. Jesus never asked for perfection. Yet even as we look for a heart of obedience in our children, a willingness to try to please us, so He looks for that in us. And it is this committed heart to all that is the best, that He looks for in us. And a heart engaged in the excellent ways of God will lead to a life that is more excellent.

But I have found out that I can always accomplish more than I thought with God at my side. I can always work harder than I thought I had the capacity to work. And most of all, God's grace carried me through each weakness, failure, sin--but He is always calling me to live beyond--beyond the place where I am to grow more fully into the me He created me to be. If I am growing, learning, getting better, loving more, living more intentionally, then it will be the spirit of excellence and growth He will bring into the very fiber of my family life. For indeed the most important resource to my children in their life education is me, as I submit to God's training and calling on my own life, fully committed to being like Him, my teacher.