I Take Joy

Taking Time for Autumn Tea!

One of our favorite fall traditions in our home is putting away fruit for the cold winters ahead. Now I am not a canning type of person, and don't know very much at all about preserving fruit or vegetables. Yet, many years ago, we got into the habit of putting peaches and apples up for the winter and we have such great pies and crisps and fruit to have with our homemade soups in the winter because of our fall effort! I even think that food that you have lovingly prepared yourself for special occasions tastes even better because of the pleasure you get out of producing it yourself.

This year, we bought a couple of boxes of wonderful peaches from our farmer's market. Later next week, we will make a trip to the Apple Farm and pick a couple of boxes of apples to make into applesauce. Yesterday, Sarah, Joy and I each sat on the den floor on a beach towel. We each had our own box of peaches to work from and a bowl to put our peeled and sliced peaches into! We almost always watched either a tales of Avonlea or Anne of Avonlea or Anne of Green Gables--though we have seen it a thousand times, we always do it in the fall. We peeled for a couple of hours and then bagged up the peaches in zip lock baggies. I also made a peach pie for dinner, served with ice cream--that was our whole dinner.

The reward of our labor was to sit with our piled high bowls of hot peaches and cream with a steaming mug of tea. We have been sitting on our porch at nights with our plates in hand for dinner just to enjoy what is probably to be the last of the golden autumn fall evenings. In Colorado, we know that snow is surely coming soon, so we want to squeeze out every lst bit of pleasure.

Do you remember the childhood song “I’m a Little Tea Pot”?

I'm a little tea-pot, short and stout.
Here's my handle. Here's my spout.
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout.
Just tip me over and pour me out.”

Remember how much fun it was to hold one arm out straight and the other on you hip and pretend to pour yourself out?
As moms we tend to “pour” ourselves out day-in and day-out. Every single season of a mom’s life is personally and relationally taxing. Being a godly mother demands our emotional energy, our spiritual wisdom and walk with the Lord, our brains, and our time and resource as we focus on investing love, encouragement, and wisdom into our children’s souls. Because the nature of motherhood is to always give out, her mind, soul, and body are always expending resources.
It is so important to take time to be in God’s presence in quietness every day so we can refuel from the one source of true light. Focusing on the beauty and joy of God all around me has been what has kept me going through all of these wondrous and often bumpy years of motherhood.
Take time to refocus your heart. Take time to sit in your favorite chair after a crazy day, with a perfectly brewed cup of tea, a lit candle and soft music playing. Take time to soak up the beauty around you. (The Mom Walk)

***Bread and water can so easily be turned into a piece of toast and tea!***

If you wait long enough, ....!

                                                    A PICNIC AND HIKE IN THE MOUNTAINS NEARBY

So many eras I didn't think I would live through----crying babies with colic; ear infections and nocturnal asthma; hysterical fits and fusses and tantrums for never ending years, one day at a time, with a mysterious child with adhd, ocd and odd; marriage struggles between me, a totally romantic, relational woman married to a totally rational, organized man who had to work way too many hours to keep this family afloat; messes, moves, rejections from family for our ideals; 17 moves; loniliness, too little help or support systems; financial crisis; illnesses and hospitalizationa and testings never ending; church splits; irrational people; and on and on.

Today, as I look back, I am still here, but God has changed me through it all. I am more patient with everyone, because I see how much I needed patience and still need compassion. I appreciate my faithful husband who has stuck with me through it all and has continued to dream of how we can change the world and write new books and keep this ministry afloat, (amidst him doing 4 loads of laundry yesterday, while I grocery shopped, worked on dinner and took Joy to play rehearsals). I see that I appreciate the Lord more, I am less attached to this world, don't really care much what other people's opinion of me is, and greatly enjoy my adult children as my best friends. (Maybe through all the struggles, my efforts at keeping going, training them, reading to them and telling them passionately about the Lord was really accomplishing eternal results in their hearts--but I didn't always feel like it mattered.) I am pretty relaxed with Joy because I know the Lord will faithfully use our family, with all of its glitches, to make her adequate for her life, like He did the others.
I often didn't think I could make it through another day, depressed, exhausted, overwhelmed. Feelings were often dark. But I had no choice but to keep putting one foot in front of the other. God knew I could make it. God breathed life into my children's souls. God taught Clay and me more about unconditional love and grace. As a good Father, the Lord was training and disciplining me, as His own child. Stretching me and building into my life, by using my own children as a soul-shaping tool. He is so good and so faithful. My family and my life became the road to my ultimate joy and freedom from the things I thought would fulfill to the things that truly fulfill. He used them to surgically remove some of the rough edges, expose the immaturity, remold my values and thoughts.

I still have my ups and downs, sometimes sadness and dark thoughts that a fallen world brings, and don't know how my children's stories will sort out, but I am more familiar with the process and the Trainer. Thank you, my sweet Lord, for your wise ways, for keeping us going, for filling our souls with that which matters. Thank you that you helped me to keep going and going and waiting and waiting. How grateful I am that it is all in your good and capable hands. The sweet memories, the hope that comforts, the work that satisfies, all the things I did not know or understand when we first started. Keep me faithful and hopeful as I continue on this path of your making.

Cultivating Civility

Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil.
C. S. Lewis

Carefully applying my make up, smoothing my hair to its most adult style and dressing up in something a bit more sophisticated than my regular jeans marked an adult day out with a beloved friend. Time away from my work-a-day world of children, dishes, teaching, writing and then doing it all over again, is rare. I am one who sometimes likes the predicatable on such days--depending on those places I know will bring pleasure and comfort. Meeting my friend in a favorite cafe promised to provide a spot for catching up and sharing dreams and ideas. Now the reason I am telling you this is that I was looking for a day off--a day without conflict, a day of rest before the "busy-ness" starts again!

High-backed, overstuffed chairs provided privacy from the other customers and just the settling in we needed for our morning together. A steamy pot of tea, warm apple-caramel coffee cake all went down easily. Times like this help me to find my center. A busy and passed-too-fast summer had left me a bit fragmented and out of breath. I was storing up this pleasure and goodness and relaxation against the very busy next few months of a new school year, which is upon me!

After an hour and a half of conversation, we were ready to proceed on to our next pleasure--a stop at a lovely gift shop, filled to the brim with china tea cups and pots, delectable bits of jams and jellies and tea; a beautiful array of cook books and biographies and children's books, feminine clothing and an array of other girl-pleasing artifacts. We hoped to exchange some ideas with the owner about books and art and other future projects.

Just walking in was a pleasant sensate experience, because of all the pretty and adult things scattered around the shop. As we chatted with the store owner about our day and some of the books and one of my new projects, she engaged with us in lively conversation. I looked at my watch and realized that I needed to be home to take Joy to a choir practice and so I tried to savor my few minutes as an adult with my friend. We left the shop and I drove home. Much to my pleasure, the traffic was much less than usual and I found myself home with a half-hour to spare. I chose not to glance in the kitchen to see what messes were there, but instead, made myself a cup of hot tea. I knew the messes would be there to tame when we all got back home later. I walked over the backpack and a small pack of books on my stairs to my bedroom. They could be cleaned up before dinner. I walked in, lit my candles, turned on my cd with the soothing piano melodies rising and flowing from my Pride and Prejudice cd (very beautiful, by the way!). Joy, who had been in her room reading, heard me and gently knocked on my door.

"Come in, sweetness!" I responded. "Here, have a few sips of tea with me before we have to leave."

She sat down, and began to bubble all over me with thoughts and ideas and incidences that had happened in her morning. I intentionally took a deep breath and observed with thanksgiving at my child who has so much become my delightful friend. We had fifteen minutes together in peace and pleasure.

"Mom, I am so glad you take time for civility--it makes me feel special, and most of all, it really makes me feel like you like listening to me and just celebrating life together." (Has she been around Sarah lately?)

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I taught my monthly mom's group and we were discussing chapter 8 in Mission of Motherhood. Our topic was becoming the gardner of your children's souls. Even as you would not expect a garden to emerge from throwing a handful of seeds into the wind into your back yard, so we cannot expect our children to have excellence in their own personal lives by just hoping it happens. Though education is important, it is mostly the way we invest in the other moments of life when our children's souls, manners, habits, skills will determine who they really become. When we become the gardner of their souls, we plant beauty, memories, confidence, winsomeness. (Mission of Motherhood--available at www.wholeheart.org)
First, we must take time to be civilized. I know that my soul dries out if I don't plan in time that fills my own emotional cup. Getting away from my home (where all the chores cry out my name!), to a lovely place where I can think or read or share time with a friend is something I try to plan into my schedule. It doesn't happen as often as I like, but I need it so that I can get back to my center and fill the cups of all those who are in my life to take from my own heart--children, husband, friends, and ministry. I will have nothing to give if I don't take care of myself first. So each year as I plan my children's needs and schedules and activities, I take time to get alone and evaluate, "How am I doing--physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally? How can I simplify my responsibilities so that I can make it with grace through the next months.

Next, though, I make sure to plan in civilizing times with my family--traditions like family dinners or deserts that we will share with our friends, special Sunday afternoon tea times--the first Apple Pie time with a story book. (Giving my children the responsibility of decorating the dining table, writing little notes of encoruagement to their guests who will come, lighting the candles, making the meal.) We plan a time for making cookies or bread or flower baskets to share with those we know who are in need of encouragement or love. (We found cute pumpkin baskets--Joy sold a few to raise money for a dog she hopes to purchase and then we chose two for special family friends who need to know they are appreciated.

Plan civility into the moments of your life this fall. Make time for you to have your own experience, however small, that will remind you that you are royalty--as a child of the king. And then, make time for your family, to have peace and beauty and manners and elegance in your home, however small. It will produce a soul that values taking the time to celebrate the importance and intimacy of friendship and fellowship. Happy weekend!