I Take Joy

Do not fear, for I am with you!

In front of Wordsworth's house

"You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, And called from the remotest parts,
And said to you, "You are my servant, I have chosen you and not rejected you,
Do not fear for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
For I am the Lord you God who upholds your right hand, who says to you, Do not fear, I will help you."
Isaiah 41: 9-10, 13

Hi, My friends,

I am back from my trip to England and had such a wonderful time of making memories with my girls. I didn't take a computer or do anything except just dote on them. This is unusual for me as our ministry keeps us quite busy all the time. But I am especially thankful we had the opportunity to do this as life seems to swirling into changes so much with the bad economy that I may be grounded for a while.

As we were riding the subways, we noted the headlines on all of the newspapers--"France requests 300 billion dollar rescue fund for Europe." "English Market falls 15%" "Land prices rushing downward." so we knew that things continued to happen as we traveled. It made us all the more careful to enjoy each other and each moment.

As I have been praying about all of this trouble, I know from experience that my first reaction could be fear or panic. A close friend called and said her husband lost his job. Joel, our wonderful 22 year old, finally received a letter from the Berklee School of music, (which he had auditioned for last April--thanks for all of you who prayed for him) and to his great joy, he was accepted as a student. But now, we found out there will not be scholarships and there is question as to whether he will be able to get a student loan. (If any of you have an knowledge or ideas in these areas, I would appreciate it!) With 3 in college at this time, we wonder how it will all turn out. And then there are our conferences. Our whole staff and ministry depends on having women attend our mom's conferences as we have to make pretty significant commitments to the hotels which could put us under  as a ministry if we don't reach our quotas. So, we have our own issues and so do so many of you. And so, after hearing from so many, I know there are countless ways to be affected by the economy failures.

Yet, in all generations, when human beings turn their heart away from God and do not build godly character and act with integrity,  when foundations are corrupted to begin with and leaders are materialistic and grasping, there have always been chaotic consequences for nations and in regards to the history of the whole world.  We have had a string of godless leaders and authorities who have authority to make decisions that will affect us. We could and probably should have all known that it was coming. Joy and I have been reading Rilla of Ingleside about World War I and it is so interesting to see the sequence of events from the beginning of the book where the heroine, Rilla, has a youthful, immature, carefree life and through the progression of the war, must grow up, accept difficulties and choose mature and responsible character in order to play her part in the War and in her family. It is a sweet story, reflective of difficult times and how it effects families.

As I was praying about all of this, I remembered one of the first times I felt "panic" about the difficult circumstances of my life. I was a young missionary living in Poland illegally and there had been lots of tension between the Polish workers and the Russians who controlled the country. People had begun to riot and rebel and the Russian tanks began to roll into Warsaw where we lived. Many of the streets were lined with soldiers and the threat of war was in the paper and on the news every day. My colleagues and I gathered around a small radio attempting to get the Voice of America which if we were careful to turn the knob just right, would bring us news from the free countries so that we could find out if war was immanent or not, as all we could get on our tv's and radio was propaganda.

I remembered thinking, "What am I doing over here in a time of war? I am not sure if I am ready to die in this conflict just now." We had been ministering in Hungry and touched the bullet holes in apartment buildings of people we had worked with where a similar revolt had caused the loss of hundreds of lives.

It was one of the first times, I remember coming across this passage in Isaiah. "You are my servant, do not fear for I am with you. Do not be anxious for I am your God. Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I camped on that verse. I pondered it. I prayed it. I resolved that I would stand on it emotionally and spiritually. And the Lord was faithful and we came through the conflict with Him holding our hand.

There have been so many other times and seasons. Yet, I have a pattern of remembrance now. He has been faithful through all the seasons and hard times. Some of our best memories as a family were made during the hard times. It built our character. We learned not to depend as much on circumstances and things to bring security and happiness. Our children learned the value of work and prayer.

God is still with us. He still loves us. He will still be abundantly faithful. Yet, there is more. I think that women are especially designed and equipped by God to dig down deep and bring beauty, faith, peace and hope to nations. A woman is at her best when she is creating life from the richness of her soul. I think that Moms will be the true heroes who will be the lighters of light when shadows threaten to overtake. They weave peace and love in homes where burdens are weighing on the shoulders of our husbands. They sing songs of faith in the midst of life's calamity. They can model a child-like faith and rest in God when they live in the Sabbath rest of His provision even when physical provision is scant.

I was talking with a friend who was experiencing a great deal of difficulty. Her 4th of 5 children was experiencing severe health issues that required travel to another state for consultation. Her mother was struggling with her Father's new onset Alzheimer's, and her husband had not been able to make payroll for his employees for his small company. I asked her how she was holding up. Her reply stuck with me. "I have realized that I am the determining factor in how we go through these trials. I am the anchor to keep our ship from drifting. I understand my role as a mom so clearly now--that how I walk with God and how I respond and how I choose to live will to a great degree determine everyone else's ability to cope well. So, I am choosing to be strong."

It was a beautiful picture of the role of a woman-- a helpmeet, a civilizer, a life-giver, a lover, a teacher.

As the girls and I drove from Nashville home a couple of days ago, I decided to make some resolutions for this time. For me a resolution is a determined commitment as an act of my will to decide how I will behave and how I will obey the Lord. It doesn't mean that my resolve won't be tested, but it does give me a plan for how I will live and it helps me to address, ahead of time, those areas that could be problematic. It also helps me fight against Satan's desire to tempt me to despair or to not believe in God's goodness.

I resolved that I would not allow my heart or mind to go down the road of fear--that I would reject any thoughts of fear by choosing to worship and focus on God's wonderful faithfulness and trustworthy character.

I resolved that I would be a strong pillar of faith for Clay in the midst of so much that he has to hold together. Not to whine or complain or falter unnecessarily in the midst of his hard work and his commitment to figure out how to keep supporting our family. He needs me to "smile at the future--because of who is in control of my future."

I resolved that I would make this time a blessed time of great memories---warm soups, candlelight, great stories of other heroes in other times, cards of encouragement to friends who needed it; phone calls and phone prayers with my boys who need support and encouragement in the midst of their financial difficulties; email Bible studies and life-giving words to all who the Lord brings to mind; simple times spent in eternal areas that will minister to the hearts or my precious family and friends.

I resolved to think of new ways that Sarah and Joy and I may serve others in the midst of these days. As we plan to be God's hands and voice and words, it gives us a way to be about God's business and to perceive the strategic role Christians can play in the lives of others during this time.

By allowing God to define my vision for the trials ahead, I have a road-map to walk with to guide my steps, to guard my attitudes and to inform my decision of will--as I walk in the power of His Spirit and investing in the word and seeking to make time to pray, I have been energized  and excited to know that I have something I can do to help. I have ways to give hope and opportunities to bring life. The Lord has renewed me in my heart and made me excited to start living according to some of my plans. I already know that these years will be my opportunity to show what my heart is really like--that I really do love and believe that God will hold my hand and show me His ways. That I have this day to invest in eternity by living it for Him.

May He grant each of you grace in the midst of it all. I will be praying for you.

I think that you sweet moms can also be the determining factor in our country, to bring courage to bear as we wait on God and follow His ways. Many blessings and lots of love coming from His heart to all of you sweet women!

Sally@wholeheart.org

Last year I studied the first part of Isaiah. The nation found themselves in the midst of chaos after a string of bad and ungodly kings and as a result were being humbled as they were attacked by Babylon. In Isaiah 40-45, I found very encouraging words which so underlined God's presence, redemption, goodness, love, strength and so on. Maybe it will encourage you. The nougat is that we who wait on Him will be blessed.

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both,
And be one traveler , long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
But as for that, the passing there
had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted I would ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two rods diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Since the first year Clay and I were married, we tried each fall to go drive through the mountains to see the aspen when they changed to the golden and read and bronze. A mother is the god-ordained professor who is to open the soul and mind of her children to the truths reflected in God's creation. God has provided ample evidence of His wisdom, power and beauty in each season.
Last weekend, Clay said that he thought we should take the time to go for one day to the mountains before we left to make time to see the beauty together. Though we were all busy, we are so very thankful for the way it filled our souls to marvel at His handy work and to reflect that each season has its own beauty and evidence of God's intimate involvement.
On a side note, I memorized this poem many years ago and required each of my children to memorize it--"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood." What a beautiful poem this is--and such a rich amount of wisdom to discuss and reflect with your children---choices have consequences, whatever decisions you make will determine much of the rest of your life--it is so important to let God's word and truth direct your priorities and decisions. And I love the last line, "And I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

Clay and I took the homeschooling road when no one thought we should. We moved our family into ministry situations with us all over the world when no one thought we should. We raised support when certain family members thought we shouldn't. We left a good job and security and insurance and went 5 years without a salary to start Whole Heart Ministries when it seemed crazy. We committed ourselves to idealistic discipleship grace-based parenting when others thought we would ruin our children. Obviously we have not lived a perfect life and have made mistakes along the way. However, we made our decisions by faith, based on convictions we found in scripture. Our desire was to please God, to build foundations that could not be shaken. God has been so faithful to us each step of the way--we took the road less traveled by and that has made all the difference.

Today, I celebrated the 93rd birthday of my oldest, sister type friend's mom's birthday. We had a chocolate party for her (brownies, cake, cookies, candy bars and mousse--it was her favorites) She has lived through two World Wars, the depression, breast cancer, the deaths of her husband and two of her three children. Yet, she has lived to see God's faithfulness.

Today, the stock market also fell almost 800 points. We could all be tempted to panic. Yet, taking the risky roads less taken has taught me that God is trustworthy. He is in control, He will be faithful to us as we walk roads of faith. It is an important for us to teach our children to have the courage of their convictions to take the road less taken-the road of faith, the road of ideals. Life does not always turn out as we would expect it to, but God is always faithful. We all only have one life to live in which to live by faith in God, to trust in Him and rest in His peace when we are tempted to panic. We are given one life to live for His ideals and for His convictions. Then we will see Him face to face.

Let us be bold before His throne in this challenging time. Let us be of those who do not shrink back. Let us be of those whose hearts remain steadfast even in the midst of trials. God will be faithful to us. We will grow and be stretched and become less selfish and more mature and give our children a better model --if we stay faithful to his call upon our individual lives. He will call each of us to different ideals, but He will call us to step out in faith, in courage and in ministry. May His goodness and mercy follow us all the days of our lives and may we resist fear and live by faith until we see Him face to face. May God give each of you a special gift of His grace and peace in the midst of your trials. May He allow you to reflect on His beauty in creation as an example of His seasons and may each of you have a peaceful heart. Many blessings of His grace.

We are off to England tomorrow morning. Thanks so much for your well-wishes and prayers.
Blessings,
Sally
Sally@wholeheart.org 

As Sarah recently wrote, "Hard realities--broken hearted facts are not ignored but face with grace. This rises up with a lifestyle of hard work and community that, while never denying grief, yet seeks to move through life with a fragile but real hope."

Seasons of a Mother's Heart

  Hi,
Just getting ready to get in the car for the Texas wedding. Many of you have asked about the Season's dvd's. This is just a beginning, but here is the first chapter on Youtube--had to be broken up into two segments. My desire is to due videos of our conferences and of Bible studies with all of our books so that moms all over the world can have access if they can't come live! This is a part of Mom Heart that we are hoping to create. Please pray with us about all of this as we pursue more venues of getting the messages out!
    1. Pray for God's direction
    2. Pray for the publisher we are working with to get a ministry vision.
    3. Pray for the right, skillful staff who can help us with the web stuff but who has a real Biblical heart for moms.
    4. Pray for financial support for the projects.
    5. Please pray for health and safety for our trip.

So blessed by your comments and prayers. Have a great weekend in this beautiful fall weather!
Blessings!
Sally@wholeheart.org
PS If you want to be on our Mom Heart mailings, please send your emails to Jennice@wholeheart.org

Steadfast Love of the Lord

Sweet Wonderful Moms,

I awakened this morning and found this in my email from another sweet mom:

I am sitting here alone, at 10pm, and was having one of those evenings feeling completely overwhelmed with homeschooling and not wanting to look at anymore curriculums, one of which I have repacked on my floor waiting to be shipped back…a familiar scene. I love reading with my kids and being a mom, but sometimes I feel I have NO IDEA what I am doing and am not so sure why God gave me this particular job. And I sat down here and thought to myself, I wonder if anyone else feels this way."

So many, many times, we as moms have to face the challenges, mystery, difficulties and fears alone. But you are never alone! The God who created your children is the God who picked you to be their mother. He is your champion and will be your guide. He who began a good work will complete it in Christ.
This verse came to mind:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
His mercies never come to an end,
They are new every morning.
Great is His faithfulness.

These words to a song were based off of Lamentations where Jeremiah despaired of His life--but God used him profoundly to change cultures through his writings in his lifetime and beyond. He probably had no idea of how much God would use Him. He didn't feel strategic--just depressed! Yet he took his will to this place of acknowledging His wonderful God and God's faithfulness. He is our model.

Just yesterday, I was having a great day. Had a quiet time in the morning, went to a doctor's appointment and then took Joy out to lunch all by herself and was feeling good about my day--ticking off all that needed to be done for our trip ahead. Then we went to Walmart and a demon attacked us--:) We had the silliest fuss about when I had last bought her some lotion she used. It was so silly and we were both sure we were right and I walked up and down the isles of walmart giving her a lecture and huffing. The bad cloud followed us home--even after I had asked forgiveness and she had asked my forgiveness--just lots of crying and struggling before we could finally end the day--(Do I remember what 13 feels like?)

Found myself thinking, I am not qualified to be in ministry--How can I be so petty? No matter what I tried today, everyone ended in some sort of cloud--Clay over the economy, Sarah in the midst of book deadlines, and me thinking that this mothering thing goes on and on!
But, then, I committed it all into the Lord's hands. Talked with Him about "You know me, Lord, and the petty-ness of my day. I am so glad you are with me and that you love all of us. You are my comfort. Thank you for your presence and blessing and strength every day--even a day like this. I love you."

His love indeed never ceases. He loves you and all of your hormonal children and all of your toddlers and all of your wild boys and fussy girls--the whole lot. And His mercies are new every morning--may you know His faithfulness today!
I have prayed for all you sweet moms who need to know you are not forgotten.

Stuff and Things

Hi, Sweet Friends,

I have been somewhat absent from this blog and may be somewhat inconsistent again in the weeks ahead. I have never accepted so much ministry commitments at once, but the Lord seems to be opening doors that He wants us to walk through. I want to finish Joy, my thirteen year old, well. So I have to be vigilant to see that she  gets the time, attention, discipleship, and education that all of the other kids received. But, Joy was born with that personality that is driven and so she is not hard to direct. I have to keep her from being committed to too many activities as she is an extrovert and likes to be on the go and is doing and working all the time.

I did want to let many of you know about our conferences this year. Our Mom's conferences seem to be such a wonderful place where God meets with us in our ideals, vision and need. It has been such a blessing to be a part of what the Lord does through these conferences over the last 11 years! I hope that the economic issues in our culture will not keep too many moms from coming as I think the Lord works in such an amazing way to bring life and inspiration to many that feeds their souls for many months. So if you are going to be in an area where we will host these conferences, be sure to save your money now and to bring a friend as it is such a great time of fellowship and encouragement! I am also excited about this year, because we will try to have a pre-conference training for those moms interested in leading Mom Heart Groups. I have two new guest speakers joining me, as well as Sarah and me speaking and of course we will have music, chocolate, a great luncheon, a sweet favor and lots of great fellowship. We will be developing online brochures to send out to our email list this year and would so appreciate it if any of you bloggers could let people in your area know about the conferences. We started these mom conference in 1998 because we wanted to spiritually and emotionally fortify moms in their great calling to build a godly legacy in their own home. We try to make it as spiritually refreshing and encouraging and helpful as we can.
    The following is the conference schedule:
             December 29-January 3 Orlando, Fl. AMTC
              January 23-24 Charlotte, NC--a Wholehearted Mom's conference in a church there
                February 6-7  Costa Mesa, Ca--Whole Hearted Mom's conference in a hotel
                February 20-21 Dallas/Ft. Worth Whole Hearted Mom's conference Marriot Hotel
                February 27-28--Apologia Women's conference Baltimore area
                March 3-4 Mom's weekend in Raleigh, North Carolina
                March 10-11 Heart's at Home conference in Illinois

Then, God willing, we will be doing a strategic mission trip in Asia for three weeks in multiple cities and to a variety of groups. Hopefully we will have  the informational brochures out by mid or late October. Please be sure to put the dates on your calendars!

    Though this will be more travel than our family has ever attempted at once, the girls and I will be a team together and we have become quite a support to each other in the midst of the past few years of ministering together. Joy is developing a real ministry heart in the midst of all of this and Sarah has been my right hand for many years. I hope that we will be able to see many of you, and we do covet your prayers for good health and safe travel.

    There are times I am tempted to take a sabbatical for a year or two, but then I will meet a young man or woman who has emotional scars or terrible moral or spiritual baggage from their upbringing or lack there-of and then I will feel compelled to share what I do know with sweet moms who need help--to write what I hope will encourage. I was praying about this yesterday morning, and the picture of Jesus holding the children in his arms came to mind and I felt that He said to me, "I love my children. I want you to keep training and encouraging moms so they will know how to love and care for these precious, vulnerable children. The consequences of their lives are important to me! You must keep working for the children's sakes!" So, I do feel that my life is not my own, but that I have been so blessed to have experienced His love in my family and I have seen His redemption, so I have a stewardship to share.

    This is also the basis of our desire to train moms to start Mom Heart groups--moms reaching out to moms--for emotional encouragement, spiritual training and input and for help. So many of you, I know, are already a blessing to so many by leading groups yourselves. We are working hard to get Bible study guides to go with all of our books and to write training materials for moms who need a little bit of help starting groups. In time, we are planning a national leadership conference as well as putting lectures to all of our books and to produce more discipleship materials that you can use with your children. Clay is busy with the writing and publishing arm while I work with other women on the detailed part of Mom Heart.

I am also writing a new book which is due December 15. Please pray with me that in the midst of it all, that I will hear from the Lord every day and be able to speak His voice into this book. There are also a couple of other book contracts that are in the process, so my plate is quite full!

People have asked me how I do all of this and still keep my priorities. I could never have done so much when my children were younger as I would have compromised my time with them. But we grew our commitments gradually. I also have had to be very committed and focused  and have to say no to many activities that would be fun but would compete with my family time. I have had to write books early in the morning and often my deadlines get pushed back, but somehow we muddle along together as a family in this together. It helped that Clay and I have been partners in this forever.

Now the next thing I feel guilty telling you about. Clay has been so wonderful to me for the past few years in seeing me become depleted and he is always so generous to see that I get a few days here and there to refresh.Since we have traveled so much for ministry, Clay is inclined to stay home--but he knows that I love to get away with the kids because then I don't have to cook, or email or talk on the phone and as the kids became older, I so enjoyed getting away with them.  It has been quite a while since I have traveled somewhere just to travel--without speaking or writing or something.

Well, such a trip is coming up and I can't wait. A friend asked Sarah to teach her children about the great English authors this summer. In return, she said she would pay for Sarah to travel to England to give her and her grandchildren a tour of the great English authors' homes.  They decided to have a practice run this fall. I asked if I could go with them and bring Joy on the practice run! So, next week, I will go to a family wedding in Texas. Then, we will drive on to Nashville to see a sweet friend and celebrate her mom's 93rd birthday and then off to England for an 8 day trek! I feel so excited--just a fun girl's trip--no work allowed! Just thinking of all that tea and trains and country side rambles makes me giddy!

We will see homes of Dickens, Shakespeare, Potter, Harriot, and Wordsworth and possibly a couple of more. We will also hopefully go to the premier pre-Raphealite museum and have a great tea in a palace with one of Sarah's friends who is studying and working there. So, I will be off of my blog for at least 8 days while I travel. Joy and I are shopping for warm coats and good walking shoes as we are going to be making quite a few treks--even hope to see the place that the banner of my blog represents! Sarah has arranged it all as she is the only one who has been to these places. I added up all of my points and got two free airline tickets which I consider a grace gift from the Lord, or we wouldn't have been able to go!

So, I wish you all well and covet your prayers and I promise I will take pictures along the way and fill you in on little details when I get back home. I might be writing a blog between now and the time I leave, but thought just in case that I would get this letter written!

God's grace to you all.

Mealtime Memories

What a beautiful fall day--one for lighting the candles in the fall baskets, turning on the gas fire place and putting on lilting instrumental music softly in the background. (My new favorite that I am listening to a lot is Lady's in Lavendar--a movie that had lovely music all through--as it is a story about a violinist in WW II and that is all I will give away. It is one of those British dramas that goes slowly, but a great story--Sarah gave it to me for my birthday.)

It is putting these little anchors of beauty into our days that make the mundane seem so much more special and keeps our hearts lighter. I have been thinking quite a bit about emotional anchors that have tied our family together over these years and wanted to reprint a small portion from my daughter's blog: itinerantidealist.com

She was recording some of the "lasts" we celebrated with my boys before they left and she did such a good job of our dinner table that I just had to share it with you. As a matter of fact, for all of you who have joined me in the past months and don't know about Sarah's blog, you are missing a soul feast. She is sometimes sketchy because of our travel and gypsy life-style, but if you want your soul filled with beauty and to be uplifted, be sure to visit her at itinerantidealist.com--if I was smart you would be able to connect from here, but I don't know how to put links in yet, so you will just have to put the address in your search bar.

I wish you all the best weekend with memories built with your sweet loved ones. Praying for God to comfort and protect Houston and Galveston friends. And looking for a hs support group for someone in San Francisco area if anyone can help. Love to all my online friends!

***********************************************************************************

Last Family Evening: Though rather a generic “last”, the rhythm of our evenings is so much a part of my family’s identity that I have to list it as an integral part of us. We begin it with a feast (yes, we like good food in my family, and when the boys are requesting for special, it’s steak). And we treat it as a feast, almost every night, lighting candles, setting some new music to trill in the background, one of the girls carefully setting the table. With the spice of good food soon flows the spice of good conversation. There are times when this becomes overwhelming; one of Joy’s friends who hails from a rather smaller and more reserved family once asked “does your family ever STOP talking?” We aren’t that noisy, in fact, half of us are introverts, but we are all intuitive idealists who think our thoughts are vital to the wellbeing of the earth. Dinner conversation usually flows seamlessly into an evening walk, where we continue the chosen topic to the backdrop splendor of spruce and fir and darkling, starlit sky. When the dusk finally gets its hands round our brains, we quiet a bit, breathe, and share a companionship of looking that is really as good as any talking. And then home; for coffee, for a movie, for candlelight and reading or yet another discussion. I suppose in the end, we had several of these before the boys left, but I tasted them more with the spice of parting added to my palate.

And that’s that. One of you so sweetly commented that I ought to write about my family, and I guess bits like this are the beginning. Someday, I would like to scratch us all out in ink, our fun and flaws, our griefs and gladnesses and what we managed to create together. There was a rather hysterical scene a couple of weeks ago when one of us kids was calling home from far away and didn’t realize we were on speaker phone (no, it wasn’t me) with more than just mom and dad. Thus, all three remaining siblings crept into the room and heard the full import of the absent sibling’s heart and, well, escapades. Only at the end did said sibling hear a suspicious scratch and suddenly bellow, “hey, who else is in the room?”, at which we all scurried out like mice so that my mom could honestly, innocently, answer, “why, it’s just Dad and me.” “But I heard voices,” came back the rather suspicious answer.

And so he did. Wouldn’t it be a shame if he hadn’t? It came to me today, as I was thinking about all the lasts we have lived in the past week, that that was what we were creating with all our traditions, a circle of voices and memories and words and traditions that will surround every soul that ventures out from the familiar confines of “us”. There’s a grand comfort in having a host of snap-eyed siblings to spy on you and eavesdrop on your most candid conversations. It is a gift; to hear voices, however irritating, is to know yourself encircled, never left to the echoing emptiness of isolation. That’s what I want to write about someday, the grace of having a clamor of voices in your life, and it’s what I’ve been thinking of in these quieter days after the parting. I’m gonna start the story one of these days…

by Sarah Clarkson

Another new school year!

Monday morning is here and I am officially beginning my new school year with Joy. I don't often use this blog to write about home schooling as I know that so many moms who read our books have made different decisions  or are young moms who haven't even made a decision yet about what to do. I also know my sweet international moms are living in countries where homeschooling is unheard of-- and I have seen the Lord work in so many different ways. But, I get a lot of letters about it and I did love homeschooling my children and how it built our family!  I am passionate about it as the lifestyle choice that was so wonderful for my family. It was the only way we could travel and speak and do what we do and have our children with us, but primarily we made the decision because we wanted to be the ones to disciple our children and build into their souls. What a blessing this has been.

So, as I consider how I will be faithful to Joy in this and finish her "well", I have been doing some planning. I love getting life back to order and having a regular schedule. It helps me to be more productive! When there is no schedule and life is like a loose canon, everyone has access to me at any time and can interrupt at any time and I finish the day feeling that I don't get anything completed. So, I am one happy woman as we are moving ahead today and it has been a good day so far!

Since I have had the blessing of graduating 3 of my children and the Lord has opened pathways for all of them, I feel at ease about home education and I don't even fret about it at all. It is second nature to me. I already feel like I could almost graduate Joy right now because of what I see in her. At 13, she has a love for learning, a habit of reading, an ability to find information on anything she would be interested in (she has been given a love for books, great library skills and lots of time to be creative!) She is also self-motivated and driven (I can't take credit for that--she came out of the womb that way! Remember that personality greatly influences how a child will respond to academics!) She has a pretty balanced life--her emotional cup is pretty full, she is growing and thinking spiritually and she has enough outside activities to give her  a sense of being a part of a community of friends, but she also has a strong identity with the Clarkson gang, so as to enjoy us!

I will do little in the next few years for her academically as she will just hone what she already has. I am also not worried about high school, because I know from experience that she will have plenty to get into college if this is the way she should go and most of all that God will open up a way for her--even if I don't finish all the "requirements" that are on many college lists.

Sarah, 24, was so driven to words and books that she almost scored perfectly on the SAT's in the language arts area. Even though she wasn't as strong in math (only made her do a little of algebra and got a tutor to work with her on some math from the SAT's several days before she took them for college. I knew that if God had called us to travel and speak and that my mom had broken her hip and was an invalid and I had to travel to her home 6 times that year to help-- and that we had moved and that Clay had a ruptured disk, that it was God's allowable will for that to be Sarah's lot in life as well. ) I knew that to panic and worry was not living in God's peace, so I gave it to him, did my best and left the rest in His hands. (Of course I was on my knees praying the whole time she and Joel were taking their SAT's) and that I wasn't going worry and stress if I couldn't get all her high school work finished in an emergency year.) 

Now, of course, every family has their own puzzle, but for thousands of years, family was enough to prepare children to be responsible, successful adults. And so if a mom decides to homeschool, she has to trust that God knows her days, when the kids will be sick, when her husband will lose his job or whatever else--and that even those things become a part of the training and shaping of the child's soul and life and values.

But, by God's grace, Sarah scored in the top 5% on her SAT, even though her math was just average and she received offers of scholarships to a number of schools--even one in England that is in the top 6 universities in the world---they looked at her basic scores but more wanted to see her writing. God worked it out! I just knew that all those years of reading hundreds and hundreds of books was stretching her brain!

Then, Joel, very similar story. Good foundations in math and literature and a less than perfect high school years--but read a lot, taught himself German, worked in our ministry, but was so motivated in music--guitar, piano, recording--so we gave him a senior project of producing an album and gave him some very basic tools for his computer to record. Yet, he also was in the top 10% in SAT's and he received a Presidential scholarship from the Private University he wanted to attend before he had even applied. Seems that on the visitor weekend, God ordained for him to sit at the table of the main registrar for one of the meals. The man liked Joel so much that he offered him the scholarship because he liked him and was impressed with talking to him.

Some children will never be good test-takers, but it doesn't mean they are not bright or that they will be diminished in their future as we know that God has created each person for "good works to walk in" and his plan doesn't always conform to our expectations.

Now Nate, who had some learning issues--adhd and such, or maybe just an artist personality--was never very good at math--not with me, tutors, video or anything. But if you went into his room, there was his genius. He painted murals on his walls, had creative photography all along the borders, lined one whole wall with his sketches and is a great communicator in writing and in speaking. Arts and performance and people were his love. So, Clay and pondered how to launch him. We prayed, he prayed and you know from his story that he received a scholarship to his school of choice based on his acting and because of that, he didn't even have to have SAT scores. Stressing over our limitations for him was a waste of time. God had a good plan.

So in all  cases, it was God's faithfulness. He is the one at work in my home. I do my best which is less than perfect and then dedicate each child and each year into His hands, and my little becomes enough. I am not laze-fair---I am very goal oriented and intentional and give up outside activities to be sure I am devoting my time and love and attention to the relationships that are most important. I think that most moms lose their children's interest in neglecting their relationship with their children and focusing on academics and nagging rather than focusing on being sure that they are developing a discipleship--loving relationship with their children. If a mom has the heart of her child, even school will be more intersting!

There was no way I could get everything done and I knew that God had not given me more to do than I had time for, so I sought to walk in peace and trust Him. I knew he had called me to this for my children. I also knew He had called me to minister alongside Clay. And that became His will for our children because they were a Clarkson.

Of course, the main stay of our lives was discipleship--reading scripture, praying, encouraging them, putting them beside us us in ministry and teaching them to serve. Always with hours and hours of reading and discussing and talking and writing down thoughts. I am convinced that the basis of my children's intelligence is reading, discussing and writing--day after day, year after year---this process that is natural to family life, is what gave them foundations for thinking logically, engaging in great thoughts with great people, defending their ideas, writing about their ideas, and being creative in their own time. But the Lord has used what was our family life and His spirit to prepare my children for their lives. They are still very normal children with holes and immature in normal areas(still have to work at getting all the dishes done after every meal)--but I am so thankful for their love of life, love for us and wonderful souls. They are quite articulate, creative, intelligent, passionate young adults.

I honestly don't know how moms make it when they try to buy curriculum in many different areas with lots of kids and try to fill in each work book or page for a year. No school ever finishes every goal, so it should not be expected of moms. I had excellence as my goal and was always training and pushing and encouraging and trying to finish everything, but I learned to adjust my expectations to our reality- we were daily in the midst of family life! Not school at home--that would burn me out and has burned out so many moms! But cooperating with life and leaning into it and accepting the limitations is a part of the success. The Holy Spirit even taught my children so much through friends and travel and books on tape in the car and hosting meetings and people in our home--for which I can take no credit.

So, this year, I plan to cover basically one year of math with Joy, once a week basic language arts--mostly through writing, and an hour of her own personal reading time for her every afternoon that we are home (My goal is 4-5 hours a week when we are not traveling--3 or 4 afternoons a week.)

Also, my favorite activity that we do is that I lead a history--literature group with 2 other moms. We are studying WWI this fall with all of the other aspects of life then--Queen Victoria, inventors, the effects of the industrial revolution, life, the Bolshevik revolution. I choose a book for the moms to read outloud to their children. (I have always liked Beautiful Feet guides and use them loosely---adding and subtracting whatever I choose!)We meet every other week. Then every week, each child has to do a personal report on something I assign from this period. They then have to give the report in class. I do a little bit of discussion and question answering and we have a great time. The writing assignments give each mom the language arts to work on with their children and we cover literature, government, politics, geography and history all at the same time. The kids all love each other and have even formed a sort of play group outside of class. (Half of them go to a weekly computer class together and some go to art classes and also scripture memory competition and drama group--our children are intertwined with each other.) We go on field trips together, travel some together and they even work side by side at our conferences. Positive peer pressure. I do think you really have to be careful to form small groups and to be sure your group gets along and has similar values and expectations. Ours is 2 boys and 2 girls. I used to have a little bigger group when I did this with our older kids as there were more kids in each family. But it has made some of my best memories.

Well there is so much more to tell, but our lunch break is over and I have to go back to reading all these great books aloud---Andrew Carnegie's biography, Rilla of Ingleside, All is Quiet on the Western Front, and a couple of landmarks. I can just see her brain growing and I am enjoying the books so much! As a friend said to me in an email, I think even when Joy is gone, I will continue to homeschool myself!

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I have already had so many moms write me letters asking about what to do with their children (different ages and different moms). I am so sorry that I can't seem to get to all of my letters at this point, but I did do a series of tapes on Educating the Whole Hearted Child that many find to be helpful as well as our book Educating the Whole Hearted Child. If you want to read more about this, you can find these items on our web site at www.wholeheart.org

Grace and peace to all of you who are starting your school year. Be sure to join a Bible study or small group of moms who can encourage you and support you along the way!

The Story

But as for me, I will hope continually, And will praise You yet more and more,
My mouth shall tell of your righteousness and of your salvation all day long.
Psalm 71 14-15

I just got home at midnight last night and am hitting the ground running, but just had to record a little of the story of what the Lord did. There are times in your life when you pray and pray and wonder if God has heard because you don't necessarily see the results. Then there are times when he parts the Red Sea and you see that He is listening and that He must have heard your other prayers, too, so you have to keep waiting and believe in His goodness. Well, last week was a part the Red Sea time! I will try to make a very long story short.

To start out with, I have to tell you that I had been praying every day for God to provide Nate Christian roomies. Also, he had been praying for a kindred spirit--spiritually speaking--for two years--as he said not one of his friends that he hung around with was really as idealistic and spiritually connected and he had longed for some friends who had his values--but Nathan is an extrovert, pied piper sort of guy and would always have friends, but none who could lift him up and hold him accountable--just our family.

Eight days ago, on Sunday morning, after I had spoken all weekend in Montreal, and was already exhausted, I caught a plane to NY City to meet Clay and Nathan who had flown overnight on the cheap flight and met me so we could ride in a cab together. We had 2 nights in a Holiday Inn Express with free points from our travels. After checking into the hotel, (kinda a less than beautiful area--industrial looking--in a part of Brooklyn). We immediately went, on foot and subway, to meet Nate's new roomate and look at his apartment. When we arrived at his street, I thought, Wow, this looks desolate, can't imagine Nate coming home to this every day tired from school and feeling ok. But, didn't want to be a wet blanket, so put a positive spin on it. There were bars on all the windows.

His room mate was looking out the window for us and waved us in. The apartment inside was surprisingly nice--newly repainted and clean looking. Though small, it looked like it might work. Then when his friend showed us around, we realized it was a three bedroom--each room small but with their own closet. The fourth room--which was supposed to be Nate's, had no closet, had two walls of windows--one into the living room and one into the street--(it was really a porch) and no closet and no light. It was about 6'by 8'. Nate couldn't even lay down on the floor--the only way he could put a bed, as the room was too short for him. (He is almost 6-4) So, the guy immediately said, "Hey, dude, we will charge you  $100 less for taking this room."

Clay and I glanced at each other, and didn't say anything, but we knew we would have plenty to say in privacy. (Nathan had a mini-piano and recording-computer set up that he had to have a desk for for his writing and composing and desk work--but they said he could just hang his clothes in the living room and put his desk by the kitchen.

We left the apartment and all of us knew that it wouldn't work for him.  So began the search, on foot--no car. We spent hours and hours traipsing all over  the broader New York city. We  met with people at his school and used their computers to search out leads, we walked miles and miles and saw places that were in ghettos and dangerous places--but these were in our price range. By Tuesday night, Clay and I were quickly coming to the conclusion that we would just have to bring Nate back home and let him start in January to give us time to help him. That was when it occurred to me that we had not enlisted prayer support about this. So we contacted our children and told them to pray and I emailed some others and sent out the SOS on this blog.

It was amazing to me to again realize that much of the love we feel from God will be through the body of Christ and if we are cut off from them, we will feel less of His love. Now the next part is difficult to explain, but I will try. We started receiving emails from people from all over and several said to look at the Redeemer church bulletin board for an apartment or a roommate. We were all three on our computers and cell phones following up every lead. Clay called a number for one of the apartments and a girl answered the phone and said, "Hi, Mark." Clay said, "I am not Mark." The girl then responded and said, "Oh, my friend Mark has your same area code and he just moved here, too." So she told us his name and that he was also looking for a roomate. I thought, maybe this guy is it. So we got his number and made a lunch appointment with him the next day. At dinner that night, Clay told me the man's whole name and I said, "that sounds so familiar, but I can't figure out why. Then, I remembered that a sweet friend who had been in a small Bible study I was teaching on Mission of Motherhood to some pastor's wives, had texted me on my phone the weekend before. I looked at my text and saw that it was the same man, and she had said, "He is a wonderful Christian leader and you should look him up. Sweet man, but not the guy for Nate as his plans were indefinite--another closed door, I thought.

So by early Wednesday morning, I was a little blue and thought to myself and to the Lord, "It always seems like we have to do things the hard way. I am tired, Lord, and I know you want me to believe in your goodness, but it would be so wonderful if you would work on our behalf to show Nathan as he enters this city and this era of His life that you are in control. So I read in my quiet time and was greatly encouraged by several passages which I will share in the next letter. But I was impressed by the Lord to tell Him what I wish we could find for Nathan even if everyone else told us it was impossible. (I had hoped he could live in Manhattan where it seemed a little safer, and was closer by subway to his school, I also asked that it be esthetically pleasing--a nice looking neighborhood and a nice looking place to go as I already knew that the culture and the noise and the lines and the busy-ness would slowly deplete Nathan and I just wanted him to have a little haven to come home to--even if it was small, and finally, I wanted him to have godly roomates and support systems.) We had met many nay-sayers who told us Manhattan was absolutely out because of the price, and we should expect to pay at least 900-1000 a month for a room and not to be discouraged by what it looked like.

So, I met with Nate and told him that "Daddy and I can't just leave you here without seeing God work and provide you with some stability." He was open to us but said he hoped in His heart to see God open doors because He had done so much to get him this far.

Meanwhile,  Mark  had talked to the  other girl who was trying to gather a group of believers to all live in an apartment house together, and told the girl that Nate was a great guy--to be trusted--and so the next morning  after we prayed and had begun to get encouraging emails from people from all over, Nate received a short text from the girl and she said, just thought of something that might help--look at this website and see if you find something. I had just read to Nate the passage about not hiding the lamp on the hill, but letting it shine for all to see and that I thought he should put out an advertisement on these boards for Christian roomates. When he looked at the bulletin board, there was a standout advertisement, "Two Chritian roomates looking for a third."

We called him immediately and he told Nate all about the place to look up the pictures online--the apartment looked almost too good to be true--newly painted, tile entrance, three bedrooms with windows, a living room and separate small kitchen--now these were things that not all apartments had! And it was pretty from the outside on a normal block that looked out over a beautiful park--now these were all just pictures--and he said the rent would be $500 for each guy--we couldn't believe it--sounded too good to be true--and it was on Manhattan! Then the guy said, "Hope you don't mind, but I need to meet you since we don't really know each other--I need to tell you a little about us and be sure we all fit together!"

So, Nathan went to meet the guy near his school where he is getting his second masters in music. About thirty minutes later, we got an excited call from Nathan. He said, "You won't believe it, but, not only is this guy a strong Christian, he also attended Masterworks festival this summer (a 4 week Christian arts symposium to encourage musicians, actors, in their Christian faith) and he knows Joel! (Our 21 year old son who had just returned from there!) And he wanted to meet because he and his roommate had standards--no drinking, smoking and no girls overnight--he said they had a commitment to Christ he wanted to uphold and that if I couldn't agree to that, maybe we wouldn't be a good fit!"

Now, we are talking about a needle in the haystack--out of millions of people, the chances that these two would become roommates, find such a great apartment and end up exactly where we had been praying for, was beyond amazing for us! But it doesn't end there.

Even though the boys didn't have the apartment totally secured, (they had to meet with a board from the apartment building Thursday night to be approved), we had to go find Nate furniture and stuff to fill an unfurnished apartment. Nate is on a loan for school and we were looking to find a place to shop where we could put together an apartment for him on a budget and all on foot as we couldn't even imagine using a car there with all the crazy traffic, miles that we had to cover finding stuff and no parking anywhere. So we took the subway to a bus which took us to an IKEA--a Swedish furniture warehouse with economic options--though it comes in kits that you have to build yourself! We spent 7 hours there trying to find bargains and it had to be delivered the next day to his apartment if we were going to help him put it all together--as they did not deliver on a holiday weekend! So we had to pay for delivery to an apartment that we had never seen to live with boys we had never met and that was still waiting to be approved. We just made sure we could stop the delivery if it didn't go through--though we had no idea what we were going to do with a truck load of stuff and no place to put it!

Meanwhile, Clay and I had moved for our third time. (Did I mention that each of our bags weighed 50 pounds as we had stuff in it for Nate.) Our third move was into a lovely little home for people in ministry that had rooms to rent inexpensively.  But did not have air conditioning, no elevator and no internet! So, after lugging these suitcases for 6 days and walking all over the city and helping Nate, we were pretty tired.

But we all took one more breath as we had to meet the next day, if the boys were approved, at 9:30. We took the subway, found the building--and were so encouraged, met the first roommate and within 5 minutes, the door bell rang with all of Nathan's stuff. So we climbed the 5 stairwells countless times to help, I went to a local grocery store while the Clay and Nate were putting his bed furniture together and lugged 6 more bags of groceries on foot to his apartment. (I called them to help me take it up the stairs--I am not that noble!)

Clay and I went back to our rooms, left Nate to stay in the apartment alone that night as his roomies had not arrived and we showered and went to see Mary Poppins on Broadway. This was to have been our week of having time alone as a couple for a few days to celebrate our 25th anniversary two years late--but instead we made some great memories with Nate and fell into bed exhausted each night. Clay and I did have a lot of fun going to the show and spending most of the next day together and then a nice dinner. Sunday, we met Nate after Church (he had gone with one of his roomies.) When we sat down at a cupcake bakery to have some time alone with him, he said, "You won't believe the story of my third roommate. He grew up in Wichita Falls and knows the Clays (dear friends of ours who used to be on our ministry board.) And he was also homeschooled.

My mind started clicking and I said, "Well, Nate, then he must know this other young man, who also studied music in Boston and was homeschooled and grew up in Texas. I then told him the name of my very dear friend's son, and Nate looked at me very surprised and said, "Mom, that is his name!" Nathan was going to be a roommate with a friend who I had known for ten years and had prayed for! I had stayed at the home of this young man ten years ago when I had been invited by his mother to speak to their support group. She then became my friend, even spoke at my conference, sent me emails to keep me posted on her chidren--and I had been praying for her son--and didn't realize he had moved to New York--and this young man who is a very strong believer was going to be Nathan's roomate! Within a few minutes of him telling me this, my phone rang and my friend was on the phone with the same amazement as me! "Sally, we have been praying all week for Matt to find a great apartment at a good price and to find a really good third roommate who was a Christian!"

So I picture heaven getting all these prayer requests from different people all over the US and a prayer coordinator putting them all together to come up with a suitable miracle for all of us! To see how, out of all the millions of people that there are in New York  and to even end up with friends--with less than one per cent apartment availability and to see God direct us together to a good apartment at a good price truly had Clay and me in awe. The Lord must have Nate there for a reason to so validate his prayers and faith in this personal way!

We spent several hours yesterday morning reconnecting with an old friend of Clay's from high school and college who had moved to Broadway to work in the musical-acting industry with his family--a wonderful, very spiritually committed man, and he and Nate connected and now Nate will even have a family to connect with regularly!

So, we had a different week than we thought we were going to have, but to be a part of God's miracle for our son as he is building his faith was a blessing--but I have to tell you that being in my home in Monument this morning gives me new eyes to appreciate all that I have--quietness! A mansion compared to the very small housing options available in New York, a place to belong and my own bed!

I have to say, that indeed, my mouth will speak of the great things my precious Lord has done! Thanks for praying for us! When we had your support we began to see the Lord work! Now onward to life!

Sally

Sally@wholeheart.org

A wonderful, amazing--God could only do it story!

Well, I must say that the minute I sent my children an sos email and also one to all of you, things began to change. I can't go into the whole story now, (but will when I get home from New York--flying in late Monday night!) but Clay and I finally moved Nate into a wonderful apartment this morning, with Christian roomates and only $500 rent per month--and he has a bedroom door that actually closes! We have spent the last few hours putting together his kitchen and bedroom (knock down, screw-in, inexpensive furniture. (His roomates are thrilled with the smallest thing. And now, after being gone for 7 days, I am going home (hotel home!)to take a nap and shower and then Clay and I will have the weekend to celebrate our 25th anniversary, two years late. I was afraid we wouldn't have any time together, but the Lord has helped us amazingly. Thanks so much for all who prayed and wrote to us. It really strengthened me emotionally and spiritually. You are so important to me! We are even going to Mary Poppins--the Broadway play tonight! I will do my best to act like an adult!
Blessings to you and many thanks to the Lord!
Sally

SOS

Tuesday afternoon--5 p.m.

Hi, all! I need some prayer support. We got to NY and Nate's apartment has fallen through! (Long story of course but all a part of us learning the ropes of NY!) Please pray for God's specific guidance and provision and that we wouldn't waste time . (Many voices and much advise so as to confuse us at this point!) And that it will be affordable and a delight to Nate as I think he will last longer if he has a haven to come home to and not too far  from his classes on the subway! We have been pounding the pavement for 2 days and are quite exhausted. Rent is quite steep. I am also hoping for a believer for a room=mate. Please pray for us in this and I will look forward to telling you what the Lord does. Much appreciation!
Onward!
Sally